Lesson 3: Share Your Writing

by Nancy

Share your 10-minute writing for Lesson 3, and read what other writers have done.


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Apr 05, 2011
Lesson 3 Plotting Blind Justice
by: Mel

-Christopher wants to be taken seriously.

-Christopher plots to hurt Justin.

-Christopher contacts Charles Hortan.

-Charles responds to Christopher's e-mail request.

-Charles accepts the request.

-Charles hurts Justin.

-When Charles is drunk and speeding away he wraps his car around a tree and dies.

Feb 07, 2011
by: Indiana

Point “A” – Charles arrives to the conference humiliated by the fall at the airport and terribly late for his speech.

List of steps:
• Charles enters quietly the conference hall while other person presenting but the door slams making the entire audience to turn all attention to him
• In his mind Charles invents the respectful story to explain his delay
• He skillfully presents the story to the Organizational Committee during the break
• The guest joining the conference at the break who happened to be at the same plane with Charles telling his colleagues the funny story about hurrying gentleman falling the stairs at the airport.
• Charles is given an opportunity to make his speech after the break
• The colleague of his who now knows the real story playing his opponent at the Q&A session
• Cornered by Charles’s answers to his provocative questions he shares a real story in a way of a joke to safe his own face
• CLIMAX: Common laugh, organizers make notes and Charles is speechless.
• Charles dismisses his assistant who was flying with him right at the spot thinking she was the cause of what happened
• On the way back he is trying to access the damage to his career while his assistant planes the revenge

Point “B”: Charles leaves becoming a life anecdote for his colleagues

Jan 13, 2011
Lesson 3 – the shape of a story
by: linda

1. Caro wants to be rich and have a happy family.
2. Her parents cannot afford to send her to the university to acquire the degree that will qualify her for a good paying job.
3. She passed her JAMB [requisite to entering the university], and must go to school with or without money.
4. Her parents couldn’t fund her tertiary education and so she prostituted.
She couldn’t get the job she wanted and so she created one.
She couldn’t find love in men and so she found in God.
5. [For 6] She found everything she wanted in the most difficult decision she made.

Jan 07, 2011
by: Tarak Khanfir

Goals :
1. Get to the top
2. Afford for himself the happy life as he desires
3. Make the world dominated by justice and rights
1.administrative and political corruption
3.weakness periods for him
4.he ignores himself how to achieve the happy life he desires
Situation and steps :(situation : being extremely bored from his miserable life)
1.Quitting his boss in work who was exploiting him and giving him a very low salary
2.Revoting against the officer who refused to afford him his official and social demand.
3.Rebelling against the police who tried to stop him
4.Establishing an organization and starting his formal struggle and fight
Decisive moment :
It is an open struggle for the whole life. It is almost impossible to decide either the protagonist acheived his great goal or no because the hero must work hard and struggle during all his life.

Dec 28, 2010
Gaining of the Sea Clipper.
by: Brande

Tony Michaels, waited as Gulliver Jonas boarded the Sea Clipper. Once on board, Tony cast off from the dock, heading towards the small nameless island in the distance. Within three hours, the Sea Clipper was docked.
“Captain wait here until I get back; I will not be gone long.”
“I didn’t realize that you would also be returning. Nothing was said about that.”
“Don’t you think that five hundred dollars is too much for one way? In fact, so that you know, I was the interested buyer for the Sea Clipper, so I know all about your problems. Either way, if I had purchased the boat, or you came back and made an offer, I knew that I would be taken to the island.”
“What’s so interesting about this island that you were willing to buy a boat, or pay extra to be taken over?”
“Remember Captain, no questions.”
Tony realized that he no choice but to wait, so he decided to get some work on the boat done, such as checking the rigging, before Jonas returned.
Within an hour, a large truck drove up and parked close to the dock. Jonas climbed out, and made his way to the dock.
“Hey Captain, have another proposition for you, Help me get these crates to the mainland, and the Sea Clipper is yours. “
“What’s in those crates that you’re willing to pay for the Sea Clipper?”
“Remember Captain, no questions.”
“Is this legal, or are you expecting me to carry contraband? If so, then the answer is no.”
“Captain don’t worry, everything is legal. I just don’t want certain people to know that I took it out of their country. That is all I’m going to say.”
“Tell your men to load the boat, do it in a hurry, then I can cast off.”
The boat was loaded with several crates of various sizes, Tony waited until the dock cleared, and then cast off. Within three hours, they were back at the dock. As Tony docked the boat, he watched as a large truck drove up. Two men climbed out, and walked down the dock. Jonas climbed off the Sea Clipper and walked toward the two men. They talked. Jonas returned, keeping his word, he gave Tony the money he needed to buy the Sea Cliff.
Jonas then informed Tony that his men would remove the crates and he would be on his way. As the men unloaded the crates, he heard one refer to Jonas as being a curator of Johntown Museum, and about finally being able to regain the lost artifacts.

Dec 27, 2010
Cans Part 1
by: J Eve

Cans Part 1

Daylight was breaking in the migrant camp, loading the big truck was no easy feat. “Diego are all the people ready?” Granpapa shouted while he spoke with the farmers, and said their goodbyes. “Almost ready, just a few more things” Diego exclaimed. The long ride home was a very exhausting one, many small towns to pass through, and many different people to see.

Diego, granmama and granpapa rode in the cab of the truck, all the others in the back sitting on boxes of items they had packed. “Diego we need to find route 16, that will get us back to the main highway” Granpapa said while steering the big driving wheel. “We need to put gas in the truck, buy some food, and let some of the people use the washroom.” Granmama Luz was touching Victor on his shoulder demanding his attention.

Driving along this small rural road, Diego saw all the fields of harvested crops and said “that was a lot of work we did.” Yes Diego, hard work should never scare you with out work you have no life, no money to buy the things you need.” Granmama luz said with a smile. “Look a sign, gas and food ten miles ahead.” Diego exclaimed loudly.

As they drove closer to the gas station store Diego became more anxious, he knew he would be the one to go and speak on their behalf in English. In his mind he started to doubt his abilities to communicate. “Diego, remember to smile, be courteous, and speak clearly. We need gas for the truck, food, and to use the restrooms. Remember, stand straight and look directly into their eyes.” Granpapa stated firmly. “Oh don’t forget to ask how far to route 16”

The big truck drove in to an uneven gravel lot as the truck swayed side to side, the people in the back began to make a ruckus, loud shouting voices disgruntled because they were being bounced around. The truck came to a stop, Diego emerged walking to the entrance, speak clearly, no accent, look into their eyes, and smile a lot, Diego went over this in his mind. As he approached the door, there posted in large letters “WE DON”T SERVE CANS”

Dec 27, 2010
Cans Part 2
by: J. Eve

Cans Part 2

Opening the door he saw a pretty girl about his age, behind the counter, “Hello my name is Diego, and I would like to ask you a question? How far” suddenly an angry voice came walking forward towards him. A rather large blonde hair, blue eyed man approached with fist clinched. Didn’t you read the sign or are you ignorant? The young girl lowered her head her face saddened by the remarks.

Diego responding “Sir we do not have any cans that need to be served, just the truck.” The man in a more enraged voice said “look you go tell them out there, we don’t serve cans. That means no Mexicans, no Africans, no Puerto Ricans no cans what so ever! Diego stunned by the hate in his eyes turned and walked out.

He arrived back to the truck and said “they don’t want us here” as tears rolled down to his cheek. “What did you say wrong!” granpapa said. “Nothing I didn’t get a chance to say much.” Diego said in a low tone.

As they drove off Diego his mind perplex by what happened took a deep breath and said, “I guess he must have been from another country, because he was not an American.”

Dec 04, 2010
What's important.
by: Kristina

Kevin felt bad about his aunt. He wished he had went home to see her before she died. He can't remember how many times he said he was sorry to his mother for missing dinner that night. She said it was fine and she understood. "At least you came to the funeral", he remembers her speaking. That was the way Kevin's mother is, forgiving. He showed up at work the next day, early. He knew he somehow had to make time for his family. His boss met him in the hall later that morning. "Kevin I have great news we got the Wayfield account. Kevin has been waiting for this kind of account". It may take up more of his time,but the money he will make will set him for life. He thought now he will be able to take care of his parents. He was head of the account. He spent hours working. Kevin arrived early and stayed late. He called his parents the beginning of the week. When he began to get busier, he forgot to call them. Two weeks went by when he got a phone call at the office. It was his sister, and she sounded upset.

Oct 26, 2010
by: My other evil self

The set-up)


The premise;

A murder takes place at a New York City hotel at a convention
of mystery writers. One of the writers is the victim, the group must discover
who among them is the murderer?

In the vernacular of the New York City police department we need to create a pool of
several suspects with motive, means and opportunities.

Each mystery writer works on solving the case to clear themselves of the crime.
One of the mystery writers solves it!

The scene of the crime.

It was at dawn he knocked on the door and discovered it was left unlocked.
He walked in and discovered the body on the ground, with his camera he took photo's at the crime scene.He owed the victim a lot of money. Believe it or not he suffered from
necrophobia, the fear of corpes! An unusual vocation for someone with this type
of phobia!

He was the first one on the scene, he discovered Nigel Dead Stones body! He
noticed the strong smell of bitter almonds emanating from the corpses mouth,
Dead Stone was stone dead!

Two wine glasses used, by there very presence it was an indication he was not alone, his killer was with him. The wine glass laying on its side next to the body, the open bottle of wine halve empty rested on the end table.
He informed the hotels management, advising them, make sure no one touches anything, as he informed the rest of the guests, some of the most brilliant minds of crime detection in the world.

They gathered in Nigel Dead Stones room to sort out the details before New York City's finest arrived to take over the investigation!

Oct 16, 2010
Another funny scene you can tell me what you think of it
by: Anonymous

As a treat Thelma got Nick to take her to a French restaurant.
Nick was out of his element, a big mistake while there he asked the waiters his advice on what to order? The menu was in French, the waiter suggested escargot.
One look at the snails Nick gave the waiter a cock-eyed look, “no thank you.”
Nick refused to eat anything that looked like it crawled at the bottom of a septic tank and left a slime trail behind.
The waiter did Nick a big favor, he went across the street to get him a Big Mack, fries and onion rings. Nick was more of a steak and potato man. He tipped him with a hundred dollar bill. Thanks to the I.R.S.
Thelma was laughing at the expressions on Nicks face while he looked at the snails. Nick started laughing also, he told her for now on I will take you to a place befitting a king. She smiled, “yes, Berger King”.

Oct 10, 2010
by: Molly

Ellen wants to marry Steve because he is so good looking. However, she has started to realize he is not the most stable person. He is really hurt when she breaks it off. He becomes a bit of a scary stalker-like guy. Not too surprising given my words in sentence 2.

She meets a guy named David who she feels will bring the stability she needs to her life. So she decides to marry him.

Like I mentioned earlier, Steve became a bit of a stalker-like guy when Ellen broke it off with him; he got even worse when she married David.

As Ellen and David are now expecting a baby, they have made a decision to move to another town where Steve would not be able to find them and they would have a loving and peaceful life.

Sep 27, 2010
exit strategies
by: Christel

Julien's apartment was a lego-land experiment of boxes, piles of books, and papers with his laptop open on the windowsill like a light-house on the shore of stormy coastline. His chow chow, Maiko looked at him balefully though this stank-eye probably had more to do with the prospect of a late breakfast than the condition of the living room at present. He was busy with last minute lists on produce and supplies done with Germanic efficiency out of necessity. Within a week he would be shacked up on his lonesome twenty miles from a general store and military precision was needed to make his asocial and misanthropic mission a success.

There was loud knocking and his door flew open in the face of this assault. With the sun behind his visitor and the living room dark the silhouette presented was somewhat sinister but Maiko's highly developed senses disagreed. She bounded to the door, toenails skittering on the parquet and leapt up rather disrespectfully in evident delight. Only one person could illicit this response, Kael, his erstwhile partner in pizza deliveries. Maiko escorted him happpily to Julien's place by the window, clearly overjoyed to have a job herself on this rare day indoors.

“I hear you're selling your apartment? Juilien, don't you think you're taking things much too fast? I mean, selling in this economy?” Kael clearly wasn't going to bother with conversational niceties on this occasion and his tone demanded an explanation.

Julien sighed and looked him in the eye. Kael was clearly stoned and minimal effort had been put into appearance for this outing, his blonde hair lank and rather forlorn added to his general air of vagrancy.
“Kael, you're a week late for debate. The apartment has already been sold. There was no other way to get funds together.”

“What the f#$k? You didn't even tell ME?? I saw the ad in the paper this morning and that's how I find out? What you have to leave all humanity right NOW? It can't wait, you can't plan this better, you can't talk to me- we've been friends for twelve years??” Kael was shaking with anger and his face flushed with livid spots of high colour.

Calmly Julien said, “ But I have been planning this for months even though I haven't spoken to any of you in just as long. None of you support me leaving the only life we know and going out to 'nowhere' to be with 'nobody' and I get that you're angry. You don't know my secret life and what I really want. I'm sorry it doesn't include you or anyone else.”

Kael's eyes blazed, and when he spoke he sounded winded, “What the hell, you're like a stone, man. No f@#king feelings! I hope you rot out there and I don't ever have to look at your smug face again.” He swept out like a small tornado and Julien, Maiko and the room were left destitute in his wake.

Aug 23, 2010
by: Anonymous

wow I love the focus the story has, it is captivating.
it is a mystery

Aug 02, 2010
TJ Exercise & Food Control Issues Continued...
by: Martha

My Plot A --> Plot B storyline involves conflict between TJ Rinaldi and a study buddy over TJ's controlling obsession with her weight and excessive exercise...


TJ pushed open the door to the campus coffee shop. Surveying the room, she spied an empty corner booth and staked her claim with her backpack. Turning around, she was greeted by her study buddy Lisa wih a cheery "Good Morning -- any good breakfast specials today?"
TJ studied the Collegio Cantina board momentarily, "I think I'll get the usual-coffee with 2 non-fat Coffeemates ."
Lisa hesitated, then responded, "TJ, why don't you get something solid to go with that, a breakfast sandwich or granola bar, perhaps? The fruit looks good today, why not a banana or orange?"
"No, I am trying to watch my calories."
Lisa placed her order with the counter girl, "An egg white omelot sandwich with Ham, Cheddar Cheese and mushrooms plus a medium OJ - what do you want TJ? - my treat"
"OK - I'll have a low-fat Boston Cream Pie Yoplait, a banana, and a medium breakfast blend coffee with 2 non-fat Coffeemates, no, make that half and halfs."
Trays loaded, the two coeds slid in the booth.
TJ started pulling out her class project notes and her exercise journal fell out of her backpack. Lisa picked up the spiral-bound notebook and inquired, "What's this?"
"My exercise journal - I have been keeping track of my progress."
"Can I look at this?"
"Sure go ahead," TJ replied, peeling her banana, confident that Lisa would be impressed.
Lisa thumbed and read through the pages for a couple of minutes.
"TJ, I know journaling is considered to be a positive reinforcement behavioral modification technique. Exercise is a good thing, but it can be overdone and you are already so thin. Shouldn't you be focusing on a healthy weight goal instead?"
TJ, startled by Lisa's observation, responded in a defensive tone, "I am proud of hitting my exercise targets. They keep my body lean, me feel good and give me a sense of satisfaction plus I burn calories when I workout."
Lisa, sensing the stubborn undertones in her friend's comments, decided to change tactics.
"Agreed, but why don't you start tracking calories of what you eat as well to see if it balances out? I would be willing to help with getting you nutritional data as a start, you know, carb-counter books and nutritional guide information. Another new and positive milestone project, right?".
TJ, caught off-guard by her friend's concern and sincerity, laughed, " Maybe, if I can find the time. See what info you can dig up. For now, let's focus on this marketing project before IT gets out of control,".
Lisa, pulling out her marketing textbooks, mentally resolved to start "Project TJ" that evening at Barnes and Nobles, and the two started comparing PowerPoint bullets.

Aug 01, 2010
Lesson 3
by: Gail

Plot development:

1) Think of the character you created during last week's class. What is something the character deeply wants? Make a note of it.
She wants to trust, and to find love, and to not be lonely

2) Think of a major obstacle or problem that could prevent the character from getting what he or she wants. Make a note of it.
She can't forget her first love, and finds it difficult/impossible to trust men

3) Think of a situation in which your character would take urgent steps to go after this thing he or she wants. Make a note of it. This is "Point A" of your story.
She feels it's 'now or never' - she's afraid of ending up alone

4) Think of the steps your character would take to reach his or her goal and what problems he or she would face each time. Make a list of these.
Get out more
Accept dates
Try to trust
Try to forget the heartbreak
Her trust is tested
She learns that her first love is suddenly single again

I've had a rather hectic couple of weeks and haven't been able to write any more of this story, but it's still bubbling away on the back burner :)

Jul 31, 2010
Thank you for the advice
by: Angelo

Hello N. Kotkin,
Yes I agree. I did think of the things you mentioned. I didn't want to bore people, as well as I wanted to keep the draft short.

If I do decide to write this story I would need to do lot of preliminary work before I proceed with my plot narrative. I like to plan the process, that's the project manager coming out, as it gives me comfort that I have thought of the different issues.

When I work this way I find those things you spoke about stick up the head through the process.

I appreciate your comments, thanks

Jul 30, 2010
Angelo's Story Plot
by: N Kotkin

Good idea for a story, but you want to be sure to give David some shining moments, maybe even include some humor, or it could get heavy and depressing. Remember that most people read novels for entertainment or to escape their own issues for a while.

Also, David needs some redeeming qualities in order for readers to care about him and root for his success. Remember that most of us have not faced his struggles. Perhaps you can show what his life was like before the alcoholism took it over. Was he a caring husband? A loving father? Team player at work? Loyal friend/sibling?

Perhaps you've already thought about this and just didn't mention it in your exercise, but what will keep David motivated towards his goal of recovery? Especially if the family he wants to regain is happy without him. You might need to give him a counselor or AA friend or someone to help him along the way.

Just some food for thought...

Best of luck to you with this project.

Jul 30, 2010
My story plot
by: Angelo

Plot development exercise:
1. Character: David Murray: Homeless, alcoholic suffers from depression, lost family and friends. He has a large frame, medium height, a grey beard and hair. Wants his family back, a job, and desperately wants to stop drinking.
2. Major obstacles: no one will give him a job, he is homeless, he is depressed and alcohol gives him comfort.
3. Situation: He sees his wife and family with another man. They are happy. He is upset after travelling hundreds of miles to see them.
4. Steps for goals: he seeks medical help, which he hopes that once cured he will get his family back, and a job.
5. Problems: Wife and family are happy with their new life. They don’t believe he can reach his goal of resolving his problems.

Jul 18, 2010
My mistake.
by: Joe

A) is an error, but the school of writing I belong to says to write it first correct it later.


Jul 15, 2010
choice one
by: Joseph F.Mazzaferro

At another location I used to create scripts for friends who wanted to play detective at weekend partys.

A game I created called Suicide Homicide or accidental death.

Before you go back one posting choice one answer

A It was a suide .

B It was a homicide .

C An accidental death.

Now Go Back To The Posting before this to see the correct answer J.F.M

Jul 15, 2010
gone fishing pt 2
by: Joseph F. Mazzaferro

An hour later a constable showed up, he was new, only been on the job three

Zoome gave him the information on the John Doe that he had collected. What he
knew by his examination of the body and the scene is: first he is new to this
area and came
from about one mile radius.

The young constable said how can you know that?

Zoome told him, lets use what my companions great great grandfather used to call
deductive reasoning, first he is wearing short pants as you can see the bug
bites all over his legs indicate, if he knew the area he would have been wearing
long pants.
secondly he had sandles on not shoes, this indicates he walked a short distance.

The constable recognized the body, that of David Domingo, a 40 year old, who was
a new resident, who took walks at afternoons, picking wild mushrooms.

Zoome told the young constable he should call who ever does the autopsys the

Constable looking at Zoome said you mean the funeral directer.

Zoome told him, have them do a tox screen for poisen.

The young constable said you mean he was murdered?

Zoome told him, NO, he picked and had eaten some poisenous mushrooms. The Death
Certificate should read accidental poisening, bad mushrooms.

The autopsy was done.

Zoome was correct, the man had died by ingesting poisenous mushrooms, this was
listed as the instrument of death on the death certificate.

The young constable was very impressed and greatfull for Zoomes help, told Zoome
and Isabelle the best trout fishing locations, thay got some big fish, plus a
story to tell everyone back in the office.


Jul 15, 2010
Here is the beginning of a new story .
by: Joseph F.Mazzaferro

Title: Gone Fishing

Author: J.F.Mazzaferro aka gamehost


Rating G/PG

Length: Short short story

Isabella and Zoome got there fishing rods, hopped into the
BMW for a drive to a stream for some trout fishing.

A relaxing week end, gone fishing while driving down saw mill river road, a
thirteen year old girl ran out into the road, waving her arms back and fort,
somebody please help.

Zoome open his window, whats the matter?

Theres a man lying in the bushes, I think he's dead.

Zoome took his emergency first aid kit from the BMW walked over, while the young
girl stould with Isabelle at the car.

Examination of the body revealed, these facts, he was not breathing, there was
no pulse, no heartbeat, the body was still warm, skin had a waxy appearence,
lips and nails pale, its only been a short time, he was dead about thirty
minutes Zoome proclaimed.

Zoome told Isabelle to take the young girl, her name Lorraine Miller and drive
back a quarter of a mile, there was a farm house and call the local constable,
leave Lorraine there and return.

A few momments after thay drove away Zoome looked through the pockets for
identification, there was non, only a bag next to the body with some wild

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